You Were a Patch of Soul

Where do I start...

Nearly four years in the making. Whoever knew it could have been crushed so easily, a feat I wish was achieved myself.

It all started when I saw you in grade 9, but that's not the point. That's history, all of it, to be burned away into the fire of my memory.

The only things that won't be burned, would be all of the fun I've had with you. Though it may seem silly at a glance, but trading music was some of the things I will always remember.

Then what would be burned? Though the burning would take years to complete, it would include: all of the drama; the conflicts; the hate; the many tears shed; or feelings of affection that had spawn between us; in I; even you.

This time two years ago, I heard a cover of "For Good" and it has now reminded me of something very important to my soul. For four years, my focus had been towards a single person. I've tried forgetting you, and you've tried to forget me, and now it is over. In a moment in time, everything I thought was destroyed by you.

So now, it is time for me to say goodbye; something that should have been done a long time ago. This is not an apology, I regret nothing. This is not forgiveness, because you have used me, but so I have used you. This is goodbye.

I would like to think that "I have been changed..." an idea that strikes me, as something I would most enjoy, if it were true.

Farewell, for now I am gone to you; as you are to I. For when you look into my eyes, you will now find, a wall.

In My Heart

Imagine this place, that is in my heart
Where drops of lilacs bloom, fall through the air.
If tear drops are shed, it's not grief, it's art
So majestic, on par with a white mare.

Suddenly. Reality knocking down
Doors; pillaging; destroying; bombastic!
Angels fly, observing, suddenly drown.
This world has become iconoclastic.

The choir now sings, voices piercing the shroud.
Burning through chaos, restoring order
Erasing traces of the mushroom cloud.
Freezing this sudden manic disorder.

Salt and Pepper

Salt and black pepper, what can be
any better? Both spice up eggs
The thought of you two makes me cry.
I eat your other half tonight

You two are much the same, so why
With so much similarity
Must you be separated in
Separate bottles, tucked together

Always in view of each other,
But never together, until
Your on the breakfast plate together.

Cold

I wake up. My body shivering in the cold darkness.
I could feel my drenched bottoms and wet socks, it's wetness chilling my bones.
Struggling to help myself up, shuffling my feet; the warm wet environment inside of my boots sends a disgusting  shiver down my spine.

Every step I take, is torture, as water is felt squirting out of my soles; the cool water flowing through my toes as they are absorbed once more, through my already wet socks back into my boots.
"Will this journey ever end?" I ask myself this as I look forward into the formidable darkness, a thick cloak doing little to warm me against the night.

Quotes I love

"I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every other part of my body is broken too." - Missy Altijd

So true.

"Giving up doesn't always mean your weak; sometimes it means you are strong enough to let go" - Author Unknown

Yep, I am too weak according to this. Not strong enough to do what is right at all.

Hit in the face

Running down the field
Speed was my shield
My eyes on the objective
So tragic when I see in perspective
That when the objective took flight
I then had lost all of my sight
The world became black in my eyes
My ears perversely ringing cry
My body feels all numb
As I then fall and succumb
To dull nothingness

-------------------------------------------------------------

"This love, this hate is burning me away [...] I don't want to live this destiny, it goes on endlessly"

- Hollywood Undead, "This love, This hate"

Just what it says, how to end it? Just stop? I reply with "Hell no fuck that!" - Hollywood Undead, "Black Dahlia"

Messed, My head is

I awake to sterile white halls
The blurred vision of a document in my hands
With the echo of a gasp, the whisper of distraught
Feeling the outline of your name
My mouth turns salty and dry, as
With a waft of dry blood,
Cringing up my nose

It cannot be what I fear most...
Thank the lord, it was only a nightmare.

An experience of pathetic fallacy

I look outside at the trees and small plants in bloom
Brown all over, but with green leaves sprouting too
The brush full of death
The canopy above is rife with life
The sun trumps over all, casting an orange glow
Only on the top half of the wood, creating
An uneasiness as day transitions into night
Feeling empty inside, like the wood before me
Only half filled with the orange light
Soon all of the wood will fall into darkness
With the cool winds flowing through it

At least the woods are whole again
However not I, no sunset
Is going to make me whole tonight.

Worn and Torn

Impenetrable reflections on mirrors
All around me, watching my every error
No matter how many I eliminate
There is another I must eradicate...

Each with it's own face
Similar, but not the same
Portraying actions, or
Thoughts never shown

I see myself in these mirrors
Creating within an unimaginable terror
The fears of what if or what was wrong
Hopes and dreams, made in one mold
Now smelted away to create another, or
Left as scrap to be claimed later
Destroyed by these sated mirrors

The strength for fighting has left
Yet I keep on fighting an infinite enemy
Destroying me, one way or another
It seems when the last of my hope
Is over, only then I can rest among these mirrors
Forever...

Wishing That I Never Dreamed

The moments before I dreamed to sleep,

I was angry, upset and mad

Making life the worst kind of living...

The dream took me by surprise

Creating a joy so great,

I must have been living

It wasn't without a journey on it's own,

A sadness mingled as I discovered you all alone

You confessed how you had hated me all these years

How my hopes and dreams, dashed, betrayed 

And wasted by your own hand.

My guardian angels, always so kind

They allowed me to cry without judgement,

Embracing me in an endless light; until

They came...

People came and wasted that emotion,

They put you in danger, my love for you

Rose and surged within my person

I was unafraid and I embraced you, as

As the world stormed around us,

Together we dangled in the wind when all else,

Had failed to stay together or tethered

Afterwards, it was too late

My grudge came and I was determined

To leave you forever, but you stayed

I stayed with you, only bitterness in my mouth

However you loved me then, I gave in and loved back

I conjured non-magical jewelry,

Accessories cheap, you still

Embraced me, with so little strength

I lifted you, and spun you in the air

You were as light as a feather

We then kissed, I remember every detail

As if it were real, my life at that moment

Was joyous ecstasy, your lips soft

Inviting, we fell backwards and rolled down green

Lush hills with summer air and...

I woke, crying, "No! Why! I wanted more!"

Alas, I realized that was a dream

I could not ever dream...

Franken-spider man I released

The spider, so terrifying in appearance
In name it is cursed, no one
Pities, or sings of spiders in songs
Instead they are used, and killed
A misunderstood monster, captured
Cornered and to be killed.
Today I released that spider into the woods
Where the trillium is already in bloom,
It blends with the fallen clutter,
Not even a blight upon the beautiful garden,
Where I let loose a monster.

Tabula Rasa

A wave of anxiety, crashes

Over my nerves, like an ocean

Over a lowered sea wall.

Barely kept out, it stays within

Until the ocean it left behind.

Dries within my person.

When that ocean is gone, it leaves

Fear, a fear of losing... something.

It looks strange, perhaps it's what I

Never or will ever have.

The thought of it permeates through my pores,

Seeping deeper into my skin.

An infection, it cannot go away overnight.

The bottle of penicillin is gone, stolen

Away into the night never to be seen.

Where is my salvation?

I've got friends standing with me,

To talk about things, creating unwanted pain.

Yet, it may be the only way, slowly

Progress is made; To live in peace away,

From what I created.

Feeling nothing, but the soft scented warmth,

Of lighted candles on my path.

One Look

I can't believe it, like watching a man walking on water.
I built a wall, a palisade that reached the sky.
A castle behind me, hard cold stone like a shell.
These all fell before me as I watched, the palisade on fire,
The castle crushed beneath your feet.

A single look from your eyes, they
Entranced my being, blessed away to oblivion.
It was not you that broke my guard;
It was I, that broke them for you.

Swearing oaths, they are just words.
Actions speak on their own,
My actions tell everyone that my oaths,
That these oaths mean nothing.

A new oath can be sworn in the morning,
The real question is how long until I break it.
The answer, is when I look upon your eyes again.
I will break these oaths every time.

Just How!

Oh shaving, what a wonder it was.
Too be able to use my first razor,
Cutting the peach fuzz from my lips.
The scented shaving cream, on my face.
The lick of a cold sharp blade, on my skin.
The comfort of a barbers touch, with his
Tool of the trade.

I used to love shaving...
When it was once a month.
Soon it turned into once every 2 weeks.
Every weekend, then turned into every day.
Whence it became every day,
Shaving I hate you.

Your becoming such a chore,
I wake up every morning with a baby
Fu Manchu growing blessedly on my face.
Every morning I have to go and cut it off,
Yet it's persistent and comes back very next morning.

Girls, I know that you shave or you wax.
Whatever, I only shave my face. Period.
I'm annoyed at this chore already, how does the opposite sex
Deal with the rest of the body?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I love you ( _____ )

I bring you everywhere with me,
I listen to you all the time.
I can read what you say,
I can search into you and more.

I carry you on my back,
Opening doors for you
Closing them behind us both.
You help me study too,
My research has never been the same
Without you.

Remember that time when you were hurt?
I carried you from the ground,
Brought you to a place, safe.
My iPad 2, you know I love you.
I will always love you, until I ditch you.

Birth of the thoughts

Why oh why do I write my blog?
Besides the lights, wizzing and buzzing.
M'head did not dictate my first words,
It was from the depths of my heart.

Some problems change, some problems stay the same.
Nothing ever really changes, in the end.
Common themes are recurrent,
Writing styles too.
Better or worse,
you decide as the audience at hand.

What exactly was held in my heart?
What is held in the depths of all hearts?
A dirty little secret, dreams, love, and many more!
All things to write about in truth,
But what made me start this blog?
Some problems change, some stay the same.
Nothing is ever the same, but something is different.

Now this blogs purpose I feel,
Will soon end it's life.
As my beating of heart, my pulsing thoughts.
Come to a near end, with death comes life.

Rebirth I hope, will steer this blogs posts.
Towards greener pastures.
Though today, is not that day.

Missing Something

It will be better, if you and I
Snuffed out this flame that I have.
Because, no matter where I go

I will always be watching over you.

Clearing the paths that you will go,

Drying puddles and putting out danger.

I will always follow you,
With no hope for myself but all for you.
No matter how you see me,
I never see you differently.
Always close to my heart, special.

I know that fighting is useless,
"Move on," I tell myself.
Too bad, I just gave my life to her.
When I think of her, did she ever think of me?
I know that she doesn't care about me at all.
So my sacrifices grew less over years,
But I grew more willing without complaint.
Finding only a shell of joy in your presence.
An addicting shell, that left me wanting more.

I, just don't want to let you know
Why I would follow you around the world.
Instead, I rather die, and disappear.
With no trace, I would like to think I did something
Useful to someone for once, before I flew into the wind.
Yet, I can't let go and fly into that wind.

Too late, I gave another part of myself to you.

I find myself, missing my own soul.

The Runner

The warrior runs with the torch,
Into the dark horizon.
Bringing light to where the suns rays no longer fall.

Seeing where his brothers have failed,
He ignores their agony.

Running far, tired beyond belief.
Jumping over obstacles, climbing,
and pulling himself over.
Leaves the warrior exhausted.

"Is there no end?"
The warrior asks himself.
Strength leaves him,
The torch emits no more light.

He knows that failure is not acceptable,
He fights his body for a moment no more.
Knees tremble, his hands are on the ground.
The warrior knows that he has failed,
Finally after much effort.

He gives in, the torch still hot is blackened beside him.
He is forced to stare at nothing but the empty darkness,
As a final darkness closes over his own eyes.

A Song Of The Land: Part 1 (unedited)

"I will not fail you my lord, by oath I shall grant you sword and shield. My lance, mornigstar, mace and ax. I swear by life and death, that I will always serve you and protect you. For your life, before my own I shall serve," said a young squire several years ago. Only now that squires a knight, dressed in the garb of a peasant on a task of escorting his Lady to her Lord at Godderstead.

Though a proper escort, with flying banners, men-at-arms, knights and an equal amount of their squires would've been proper at times of peace. It's ironic that at times of war, an escort of a single knight. Wearing nothing more then a thin coat of mail under his commoners garb, a long sword at the belt, with a dirk and a knife to boot.

I felt highly uncomfortable while escorting my Lady. The lack of armor, which is my life, and the lack of weapons (as most knights carry at least 2 or 3 into battle) makes me feel frail. Weak. However, I must remain looking fierce and confident for the journey. Lest, the Lady doubt my abilities. She is my "daughter", for the duration of this trip at least.

"Ser Co-, I mean father. When are we going to reach our destination?" The lady pondered as she trotted along beside my workhorse with her pony. None of them such noble beasts as a true warhorse, such as my courser, but we must look the part and conceal our identities.

"It won't be for many days yet my child, we are approaching an inn just ahead of the road. There we can rest for the night, and you may refresh yourself as well while we stay."

"While we are there, can you tell me about the Lord that I am to marry," asked the shy 16 year old, "I would also dearly like to know what he looks like too."

Clearly, I must have looked shocked as I forgot how young she was. The young girl looked at me, with a queer expression of curiosity. Such an innocent little flower sent off, halfway across the kingdom to marry someone that she doesn't even know, it makes me feel pity not knowing how scared she must be.

I assured her calmly, "Your Lord is most kind and gentle of any Lord I know throughout my time here in the mainland. Here's the inn now, come on we'll give our horses to the stable boy and get something to eat."

The inn was full of cut throats, pick pockets, sell swords and off duty soldiers from the war. The air was a mix of food from the kitchens and an unpleasant odor only attained possibly from an inn full of drunk men at their business. The lighting was dark, with only evenings yellow light piercing through cloudy windows creating a mood of hidden anger or fear.

"It may not be the best of places, but were staying here for all it's worth," said I as I then addressed the obvious owner of the establishment,"Barmen, any rooms available for me and my daughter."

"Aye there's a room for two, if there are 5 shillings and a farthing from that purse of yours," demanded the man.

"A price too much I might add, why the high cost for such a room?"
"It's the war, it is now you want the room or not? I can tell that pretty bitch of yours doesn't want to stand around much longer," commented the inn keeper all too slyly. His eyes, not on my own.

"I will think about the room at a later time, I'll just have 2 flagons of ale and half a rabbit you've got charred on that spit," said I. Getting rid of that inn keepers presence, a temporary relief. I have forgotten how hostile places such as this can be towards women.

Gesturing the lady to sit with me at the nearest table. I managed a message of caution, "We should not stay here m'Lady. I fear for your safety at this location, I suggest we go further along the road or even camp outside tonight. If it pleases you m'Lady."

The lady replied all too innocently, "Why father? What makes this place so bad, when I see two knights around the corner. They swore the same oath as you, did they not." Looking at me with those big eyes, invoked a response of reassurance, but I had a duty to protect. I had to give a truth, even if sugared.

I pleaded in response, "They may be knights m'Lady, but they are still men. Men have minds of their own too, you must not forget that they are also here for their pleasure, not for justice. Not all knights are the hero's and dragon slayers from the songs and tales of old."

"So your saying your not one yourself? If trouble does fall upon us, I would simply announce my status. Knights are protectors of women, and most of all young maidens and ladies fare are they not," the young Lady replied.

Is there no use trying to convince her to leave? Wary of the eyes surrounding their table, I felt my hands instinctively grasping my the handle of my long sword. Suddenly a drunk man-at-arms, donning the uniform of the enemy, approached the Lady with obviously bad intentions.

The soldier said, "hey, I can be your knight, if you share a bed with me tonight. What do you say old man, a farthing for your daughter." He then laughed as only a man drunk, lost in his own world would laugh.

"Stay away from her, or you'll regret it," I demanded of the man. Slightly unsheathing my sword, so that the blade stood naked inches from it's scabbard. Glinting in candle light, shining in the sun from the windows.

"Oh, so the old man thinks he can fight! Well it seems I outnumber you," as he spoke about four men and the two knights stood from their benches, walking with weapons drawn. "Give me your daughter, and you can go home and make yourself a new one."

The situation was grim, it was doable against 4 men at arms, but the two knights with full plate armor most certainly sealed my fate, and the Ladies in direct confrontation. My long sword was instinctively drawn anyways, like a stick warding a pack of wolves. Except I'm not the target.

"Wait, or good Sers, why fight? Your supposed to protect people like me, I would be forever in your debt if you laid down your arms and let us pass," as she pleaded from her heart.

"The only thing I want from you, is your-" exclaimed one of the men of arms, before his neck was sliced open by my sword. Red blood squirted into my face, and onto the Ladies. People around the inn, stared at the scene in fear, disgust, panic and many other emotions. The now three men-at-arms and the two knights, stared aimlessly as the once living man before them fell into a pool of his own blood.

"Sell swords, I am rich and will reward you gratuitously, a gold coin per sword that helps in protecting me and my daughter," I exclaimed to the room with a thunderous voice. About ten of the free swords drew their weapons and pointed at the enemies. No one dared in making another move other then that.

One of the knights sheathed his sword and calmly spoke, "this is all folly. What are you and some sell swords are going to do against men of the crown? Serving under the rightful King and Lord among all peoples. You are hereby arrested for murder, and treason against the crown!"

"For the self protection of myself and daughter?" Even with the sell swords, taking down the two knights with their full plate armor would be unnecessarily difficult. Their close proximity to myself or the Lady is also dangerous, if I were killed then the Lady would surely be lost.

"I suggest a duel to the death, with you Ser knight, the winnings are obvious. I go with my daughter if you are slain, and you can do whatever you want with her if I am," I suggested ignoring the obvious gasp of fright from the Lady behind me.

"Duel accepted, meet me outside when you are ready. Use whatever weapons or armor you want for the duel, agreed?"

"Agreed."

"Then it's done, I shall be waiting for you," the knight proclaimed as he ungracefully moved out of the inn.

"What are you going to do," the Lady asked frightfully. Fear on her face, tears crawling on her cheeks. I wiped them courteously and held her shoulders in my hands. I felt her skin, cold as ice, her body shivering in fright. "Wha-... what if they kill you?"

"They won't kill me, I am your knight sworn to protect you," though his abilities against a fully armored knight without any armor himself is to be questioned. I hugged her, like a father hugging his baby girl, holding her body against mine. An embrace that reassured her, as much as it reminded me of what I will be fighting for.

"If I do fall, you must escape. The horses are in the stable, steal one of their war horses and fly straight down the road. You may not know the way to your new home, but at least you may be safe," I whispered to her ear.

I released her cold body turned warm, I stared into her eyes she had a look of fearlessness and pride all of a sudden. Telling me again not to fail. I left her for the door, but I turned back and said, "watch by the stables, return to me when I win."

Outside, the sun was setting with orange light filling the once blue sky. With shafts of light streaming through the trees in the distance, the air cool and smelled of trees. A refreshing scent, compared to the foulness of the inn. "I should take note of the suns' position during the fight," he thought. A fight was like a dance, a knights dance was to hack and slash. That was because he had armor, he lacked it. Today he wasn't a knight, he had to be water and get around his opponent. It shall be the knights dance vs. the dance of a craven, others shall think of it. I shall think of it as the lick of flames dancing from a fire vs. the water dancing around rocks.

My opponent met me, though I can't see m'Lady I knew she was watching.

"Draw your sword, and let's begin," demanded the knight, his armor turned a orange from the light.

I drew my sword, and without a word we began. Moving in a circle, his shield held high and his sword raised from the hip his body facing head on towards the tip of my blade. I adopted a stance of my blade directly pointing, my body facing the side as I moved with him in the circle of death. The dance begins!
He drew his swung his sword in a high arc over his head onto mine, I grasped the handle of my blade with both hands and drew it high and deflected his blow the broad side of my blade.

Stepping to the left, I swung lowly against his undefended side. He brought his shield from his left over to his right, and deflected it. My blade recoiled through my hands, wrist and throughout all of my arm as I staggered. He ran after me, and I ran away. I jumped over a nearby fence, and faced my opponent. He started running around the fence to a nearby gate, while people around the scene started shouting craven.

I jumped the fence again and forced him to run back, "so slow in his armor, and getting tired too," I thought. I continued running back towards the inn, with the knight following close behind. I picked up a fist sized rock and flung it high at the knight as he moved his shield to protect his face. I immediately took the chance and ran, swinging at his legs with my sword. My blade sheered through the metal at his thighs, and continued to cut deep into his flesh. I jumped back ready to run away, but was too slow as his shield caught my face and sent me back in pain. I spit out a tooth.

The knight clearly agitated, along with his companions taunting me with cowardice trickery. While I saw in my peripheral vision a young Lady, all too afraid for my well being. The knight threw down his shield, as he walked, with a limp towards me. Two hands on his long sword, fearlessly marching towards his opponent. "Perfect," I thought to myself, "the knight was already slow in armor and shield, now his leg is forcing him to make up for speed. Throwing away his shield might be fine in a battle, but not in a duel."

Meeting the knight, I swung first high and mighty over to his head. While his blade moved to block my blow, and gave a kick to his already injured leg, forcing him to kneel in pain. I then quickly took my dirk, with a free hand and jabbed right into his right shoulder. Screaming in pain, he headbutted my gut and threw me off balance. While in a rage, took my dirk out of his good arms shoulder and threw it lazily in my direction. "Great now he can't even hold his sword, his left is too weak to hold the blade up to meet mine," thought I, now confident in his current situation.

Lazily, with great ferocity he charged at my person. I easily dodged his thrust, and I hit his head with the hilt of my sword. He fell on the ground, while he struggled to get up I took my sword and embedded it into his left shoulder. He screamed in pain, with his friends helplessly watching the scene. Held back, with only a word of honor between two men.

The sword in his hand, was now on the ground, glinting in the sun without a trickle of red while mine had rivers of it running down its length. He stood on his knees, staring in disbelief at his loss to the sky, or was it to the gods? Perhaps he was asking for forgiveness of his past sins before he perished from the world. I stared into the faces of the crowd around me, the eyes of his companions, and for a moment I drank into the suspense filled face of my Lady by the stables. I gave her a nod, I was not sure what the nod meant, a nod of confidence, of reassurance, or of pure sympathy for the innocence that was ruined today. No one should see a man die such a violent death, but as her knight I had to protect her, but I can't protect her from what she was going to see next.

I took my sword in hand, and entered it into the back of the knights neck. My blade never seeing the light of day, as it traveled down his body. I removed the blade, as quickly as it came in. All covered in red, I sheathed the blade and let the body fall onto its own accord. The crowd stayed shocked, my Lady even worse off. I walked to my Lady, and just stared into her eyes.

My stare must have been cold, for she gave no reply. Only a far off look, and a face that pierced my heart in sadness. "I'm sorry for what you had to see," was what I never said as I offered my hand and helped her onto her pony. She climbed onto her pony, and I onto my workhorse. Without looking back, we left the inn quietly and onto the road.

Only when the inn was out of sight, did we break into a gallop. Guards, soldiers or bounty hunters would most certainly be out for us now especially after killing two men under service of the sorcerer King. So much for food and rest I thought. A pity we never had the ale or the rabbit. As we both raced towards the next town, and the next, until we reach safe haven at  Godderstead.

The Front

The day was life itself, green and bright.
With blue skies, and fluffy white clouds like cotton candy
Above our heads.
We drove the jeep around the pretty farms,
Over the rolling hills.
Laughing at jokes and jests we made at one another,
Thinking about the girls we've missed.
The ones we have not yet met.

That was moments ago, which now feel like eternity.
All of that what once was, is now gone.
Destroyed.

Soaked, wet and feeling miserable.
Most of all the cold won't leave us,
And the green is now brown.
The skies darken with plumes and billowing smoke.
Not so dark as night, but as impenetrable.
Choking all life, and dirtying everything else.
Nothing is left untouched.

All small talk leaves us, as a scene occurs around us.
Like a movie, tales of chivalry and valor on the battlefield may have came alive.
If only reality wasn't so sinister.
My brothers fall around me, as I hold one
In my arms.
I look outward into nothingness, with the clouds of black smoke
Making my eyes water.

I never knew tears go backwards

When I feel the need to cry,
The water crawls around my eyes.
A knife is stabbed and stuck in my heart,
bleeding every time it pumps.
Gushing out blood all the while.
As I know my upcoming doom,
as my nose cringes with the smell of fear.

My eyes see the clear blue sky, and I don't
see whatever that made me cry.
I close my eyes, and breathe deep.
The clean crisp air, smells cool and fresh.
The knife disappears, and my chest stops hurting.
The water around my eyes, without even wiping a single tear.
Disappears.
As fast as they came, they are gone.
I am left looking at the sky, the face of uncertainty,
As I take a breath and look around me once more.

What's dead? Choosing between...

Chivalry isn't dead. It is the man that is,
When he has lost all sight of his own humanity.
Ignorance, with a touch of sloth.
Envy and jealousy also reign.
When do battle with himself,
He loses.

However, it is the idea,
Not a man that he must follow.
The idea of chivalry, instead of a model.
A man can die, but the idea lives.
It can grow and become more powerful,
Then anything ever imagined.

An idea kills...
An idea, brings life.
Life into a world of the dead, and non-living.
Creating anew, destroying old.
What will you choose?
What will you do?

You can select an idea, but you must act.
Actions speak louder then words,
That house won't be built by itself.
That chivalrous action you were thinking about,
Too late hosé.

So with all adieu, why
Don't you become chivalrous...
Today!
Well I choose... not to.
Too much work.

Bye bye chivalry!

Good luck guys and gals

When no one stands towards the monster.
A hero emerges!
Mighty, proud without folly and fail
To his human soul.

What he doesn't have...
is his heart.
He fights for the good of the people,
Against the ancient evil.
A magic from the well of stories past.

Well you know what happens,
These stories are about people.
Characters who have gone past,
Hardships, jumped over fences,
And climbed over their own mountains.
To find, a better side.
A realization of themselves.

Just like the stories that we were taught,
We find our own hardships.
Whatever it may be, know that
In the tales and legends, when all was thrown
Against them.
When their road was barred, they overcame;
And overcame they did for hope.

A better time, where they may finally have peace.

Good luck on exams guys :D

A warmer time

When bored during exams, go back to old memories.

Thoughts of Late

Putting you past my thoughts,
At the very back.
It's what I can do for you.

I still come back to you.

When that's not enough,
I can make you hate me.
It's what I do for myself.

I still come back for myself.

When all else fails,
Only because I love you.
I forget you for us.

Only when I forget...
I can't come back.

Dogs

Late Fall afternoon, I was walking home through the alley ways and ghettos of the city. People rarely come here, except for those that live here. Then again, the people that live here never want to come back.

The red bricked apartment buildings flank me left and right, leaving little room in between, just enough for the occasional dumpster and room in that dumpster for the homeless that dive into them. Other then that, the little space between these red buildings provide a safe haven away from the rubble of city life. It's like an escape within an urban jungle, where no one can find you. So deep into the garbage of the city, you would get lost if you didn't have a map.

A place, a walk down life all to yourself so that reflection upon your days events becomes a reality. Your rarely disturbed, as long as the gang members in the area are your friends of course.

Well they ought to be, or you might as well move out. Else you be harassed everyday for the rest of the pitiful life that landed you here. Pay the rent, and you'll be fine. However, they can't protect you from everything. Nor what was coming around the corner could be bought off with what little money I had in my non existent pockets.

Three dogs... all of them feasting on a god forsaken piece of trash, or rodent. Eating, with their own peace of mind, until I turned the corner destroying it. All of them. Stopped. Heads perked. Ears erect. Eyes, all I could do was stare at their eyes. They were great dark cesspools filled with no remorse, and they stared at my eyes.

It was like a mental connection. I knew at that point, I was the new prey and they were the hunters. Teeth, suddenly barred against their thin lips, with an addition of growls and barks coming from the three dogs. I don't know much about dogs, except that they can probably hold half of a small child in each of their stomachs. I did luckily knew that I wasn't going to win a fight, even against one of them. All probability says I would come out with a lost limb if it did happen. I ran.

A low lying wall just to my left, I deek for it and immediately climb over it with mere ease. The dogs barking,  leave finding a way around the wall, their sounds usher me toward civilization as fast as possible. Heading onward, to an unknown part of the ally, I run knowing that those dogs will be on me at any moment... until the way I found was blocked. Guarded by the most inconvenient fence in the entire world, I became trapped. It was a chain linked fence, but it was too high to be climbed without the dogs biting at my legs once I reached the top, thus pulling me down towards certain doom.

The dogs arrived, with blood in their eyes and froth in their mouths. I take my back pack, and toss it just right over their heads. This sends them all tripping, turning backwards to catch the not so distant object and kill it. Making use of my created time, I started climbing the fence. My foot, was barely able to grab hold of the spaces within the fence, and my fingers were being strained to the point of snapping like an elastic. Holding all of my weight, inappropriately on ten small appendages is a problem; however with great tolerance to this pain I climb to the top, hung over, and drop on the other side of the fence with a great sharp pain into my feet. 

However, a very welcomed pain as the dogs were now at the fence yapping their way at me. Knowing that their pray has escaped to live another day. I, just too happy to be alive walked over to the nearest general store and dumped all of my money on a stun gun and some mace. Time to get my backpack.

My hope in Humanity

The most admiring feature in humanity.
It is not the wars we've fought,
The glory we have achieved,
The science discovered,
The technology created,
The places, and things we have seen.

It is something that can only be nurtured,
And grown, like the plants from the earth.
It is as rare in appearance as the most spectral shooting star,
In our very own night sky.
As hidden and common place, as the unique patterns,
Found on every snowflake.
Yet it is undermined and discarded as
Trash.

With these properties how can anything,
Be so admirable when it's constantly killed.
Well that's the beauty of it.

When someone has the ability to stand against a giant,
Can move mountains, and
Fight dragons.
This is all easy,
What's hard is forgiving your enemies.
What's admirable is giving someone,
The proper respect that they deserve.
When they showed you none.

Can you tell your wicked witch,
Can you tell your slave master,
Can you tell the embodiment of your very own nightmares...
That for everything that they have done to you,
On their death bed,
Grant them Forgiveness?

To deny them, and most of all
Yourself.
The punishment you so dutifully would
Doll right out to them.
You instead absorb their crimes,
And grant them Forgiveness.

Few can do this, less have.
This is also what gives humanity hope.
Forgiveness of our sins and mistakes,
Try to look at your life and those of others,
Through heavens eyes.

A word I hate

When I hear this word directed, at me.
An instantaneous rage boils over,
So hard to control, a million solutions
Run through my head.

The word runs deep,
Throughout my years.
I've always hated it,
It's always been used to describe me.
To hear it again...

A second later, I laugh it off.

S.N.A.F.U, for the rest of my emotional day.

Come Back to us.

My friend your lost,
Reprise your misfortune, and be gone with it.
Do not let such things, that you and I know
Come to pass.

Things are much simpler then you may see it,
To be...
People know my friend, do not
Let this take over your life,
Consume you like a devil.
Destroy. What?
Don't destroy, or burn bridges my friend.

First Normal Post this year...

I'm drinking tea, not writing a poem, prose or short story :b

New Day / Life

The air, nice and cool

Just as I have dreamed.

The moon, illuminating the night sky,

With a soft, comforting and caressing glow.

This is liberty.

I can finally look at the world,

and be free of my fears.

Out there, without a care.

No more hurting myself,

Or suffering,

Or waiting,

Or not knowing,

Or chasing.

The sun rises and smiles at me,

My life is renewed like the day.

First movie quote on ma Blog

Frodo: I can't do this, Sam. 

Sam: I know.

It's all wrong.

By rights we shouldn't even be here. 

But we are. 

It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. 

The ones that really mattered. 

Full of darkness and danger, they were. 

And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. 

Because how could the end be happy? 

How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? 

But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. 

Even darkness must pass. 

A new day will come. 

And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. 

Those were the stories that stayed with you. 

That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. 

But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. 

I know now. 

Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. 

They kept going. 

Because they were holding on to something. 

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam? 

Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for. 

- The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Let go

Gravity pulls every part of me,

Away from this idea, that

I hang onto with hope,

All of my strength.

Clenched, with fierce determination

To hang on forever,

To this ledge of hope.

When I think of this hope,

I feel like a white light is shining around me.

A sort of holiness that I will get my wish,

Come true.

There is nothing better then that hope,

Nothing better.

Is it supposed to last?

My heart is addicted to that hope,

It beats for it, giving strength

To my hands.

So I will never let go.

But I feel like...

Someone's voice is whispering,

No.

I ask, "What do I do?"

"Trust and faith", it answers back.

Trusting this strange voice,

Well that's absurd, why should I

Let go of this ledge, that brings me joy

To my world... and fall to the unknown?

That voice replies to me,

"Trust in me, have faith in me..."

I still resist, I harden my heart.

Then I start thinking,

My hopes burn around me,

I realized then... it was over from the start.

I panic, I whisper ",is it too late?"

The voice, reassuringly tells me.

That it's never too late,

It told me to trust it and let go,

Have faith that I won't fall into the unknown.

Then I realized the answer...

It was never a demand, but a question!

Realizing the answer, I let go,

To find peace at last.

After my long struggle with that ledge,

Of hope.

My heart, rests easy.

Patience

Last night I was raging,
Like hell fire, burning through me.
With red in my eyes, no glowing,
The demon inside me, unstoppable.
Who can ever stop such a force?
Only God, and his angels perhaps,
With a force to blast away the fires of hell.
What a gale wind, from the heavens must be conjured.

Now however, the seas have calmed.
My heart is at peace,
Perhaps patience, endurance, and outside love,
Is more powerful then evil.